We NEED a Man's opinion!!!!!

[onelove748 (deleted)]

In a woman's group of mind this week, we were having a conversation about what men and "black" men finds attractive on a physical and mental level. What are the values, morals, and qualities that you look for in a woman? How important is the physical? What if she wasn't pretty, but had a great body? What if she was pretty, had a great shape, had her stuff together, but had lost alot weight and her skin wasn't as firm as it use to be? What if she was pretty, had a great body but she didnt cook or clean and was rude/selfish/mean? These are some of the questions that the ladies were asking, so be totally honest men, lieing will not help us to understand a man better!!!!!
Thank you for your time!!!!

[infinitegent (deleted)]

`I am just one man out of millions but don't mind giving my honesty. You put many different questions out there. I'll start with the physical since what you see about someone is usually what catches your eye. Personally I'm attracted to women who are thick. I love a thick sexy woman, thick legs and thighs, nice fat soft behind. Unlike most men I know big breast are not a turn on for me. Not that I don't think big breast are nice, but they're just not in my top 5 of what attracts me. I like a woman who looks natural. Doesn't have to have the prettiest face, but attractive and a nice smile. Physically I love lips, eyes and someone who who is not afraid to be without makeup. The natural look of a woman who has a pretty face, nice lips and eyes when she smiles is more beautiful to me than any supermodel.

But physically though I may have found you attractive having all these qualities, if your mind and your heart is not right that pretty much destroys any attraction I felt by just what I saw physically. You don't have to be the most intelligent woman and I love a strong woman that stands up for herself. But I should be able to have a decent intelligent conversation with you. I don't like to argue, so it's important to me that we be able to talk without negative feelings and emotions getting in the way. So as far as values I look for are sweetness, caring, good heated and believes in God. Not expecting you to be perfect or holy than thou because I'm sure not. But I feel like if you have certain values and morals I can relate to you and be able to trust you with the things that are important to me and you can do the same.

[luvandhappiness (deleted)]

As people we all have our own individual preferences and tastes. We are attracted to a person on different levels.... physically, mentally and spiritually. Those are all healthy attributes and a normal part of the human condition. However, we tend to place too importance a value on attributes that in the end are not conductive to a lasting relationship.

If the only glue binding you to a person is physical attraction for example, then what if that was taken away? What then, can you still be there for that person. As I understand it, a lot of people would not stay. Or maybe your with a person because of social status and/or they are wealthy etc. Again, take it away and would you stick around? It takes much more than just these things alone to allow a relationship to grow and withstand the test of time. All of these attributes can be changed/adjusted/taken away and through our lives they all will be tested and you had better have more than the superficial if you are to withstand the storms of life. Storms will come, this we know, but can your relationship stand the rain? It's the day to day temptations and trials of life that can do it in if left unchecked.

Now, if when you look at a person, and see more than the physical, see more than the social status and means and what you find is WHO they are (character, values) and WHAT they have (love, kindness and compassion) and it resonates on a level with you, then you have something special. You and them have a bond that is much stronger and deeper than just the surface and really unimportant things that so many people seek, then you have a relationship that will withstand the rain. You know that you can depend on them and they you. You know that you can give all the love needed and they will give it back in return, then you can be free and happy in love, life and relationship. These are the things that we should seek.

The problem however is that if your part of the chaos you can not really see a clear picture. We can not see past what we don't understand and we must have an enlightened mind. Change comes about through your experiences you have and those experiences from the choices we make. We learn and grow by making better choices, thus better and difference experiences. Hopefully we reach a point of enlightenment and begin to realize that the old notion and ways of thinking are petty and unimportant.

Let me give you some perspective. You see this supermodel chick with this dorky little short dude. You may say, what up with that?. Well, this guy is giving her what she needs in whatever capacity... physical, mental, spiritual, etc. He makes her happy, whole and complete and that relationship is solid. I'm going on the assumption that she is attracted to him for all the reasons I've spoken about. My point is that this is what love is all about. It is much more than just these attributes alone, but a complex mix that when taken together can generate bliss for a couple.

So what we should seek is to connect with someone that is right for you, that fits your personality and views about life, love and relationship. If your views are shallow and that is all, then don't complain, B---- and moan when it all comes crashing down because more likely than not it well. Look around and what do we see... so many failed and broken relationships. Sigh. It has taken failure, heartbreak and stress for me to come to these conclusions. So I'm not just talking out of my neck but from experience. I've made all the mistakes that one can make, but thank God I'm learning and growing and moving beyond the chaos and now see a more true and clearer picture.

In closing, people stop putting so many limits on love. Be who you are for sure and don't compromise your integrity, but we can put so many limits on love to not allow ourselves to see when love, true love comes your way.

[onelove748 (deleted)]

`AMEN to that!!!!! "luvandhappiness"

[1niceguy4u]

Hi (removed) is my first post on this site. Im glad to be here. Every man is different, but personally, I can appreciate a woman that keeps a clean house. not spotless, just orderly and clean. I dont mind helping but I dont want to be the only one cleaning up. We can work on the rest of "life" together. Looks dont matter, but I do like a certain body type, "thick". The main thing I look for is someone that will be COMMITTED to the relationship. Commitment will take you further than love sometimes, but the love is what will hold you together.

[genuine6969]

` The bottom line is that there are entirely too many men in the world with too many different mindsets!!! We need to be realistic and quit being brainwashed by thinking that men/women have a basic common thing that attracts them. AS far as if someone loses weight and their skin is no longer firm. That's more of a personal issue between an INDIVIDUAL man and his woman. In other words, you may be with an INDIVIDUAL man that loses his attraction due to the weight loss/loose skin. I personally can't see myself with someone with flabby skin due to weight loss. What good is it to have a psychological connection with someone if I no longer want to make love to them?! But then again, I am a slender fella. And some women can't see themselves with a slender dude. I don't take it personally because I know that there is someone in this world that WILL want me! Finally, can we please stop with the b.s. about how men are 'shallow' when they consider looks as important. There is nothing shallow about it. Men are visual creatures and critisizing or trying to shame men to change hasn't worked in LITERALLY hundreds of years. It simply is not going to change. However, I do agree that a man that bases his entire devotion to a woman based on how she looks when seeking a serious relationship is lacking in maturity. We've gotten so into being politically correct that we've 4gotten how to speak truth to these issues.